About twenty two years ago I packed up house and moved my family to a country town. I was about 25 years old, married to a very resourceful man and had two young boys. I had this dream which wasn't very clear or vivid. I simply wanted to bring my boys up in the country and I didn't like the city life. I grew up in the 60's and 70's with most of my informative years being at school throughout the whole decade of the 70's. I left grade 12 in 1980.
We sold our house, left our jobs and moved 4 hours away from anyone we knew to an area that was very different from what I was used to. I say "I" because my husband had worked independently on cattle stations all over Australia for many years. A jack of all trades. He was not close knit to his family like I was.
I grew up in a very loving family. Not much was hidden and what was hidden was usually found out by someone in the family. We could talk to each other. My mother stayed at home and raised us three children while dad worked. This was the very early years of my life and that changed rather suddenly when they up and moved from a secure life to explore their dreams and bought their own business which required of them both to work many many hours a day. I think this might have been my first taste of not liking a city life. I hated the fact that I could not just run free. Their were now bad people out there in the streets with all the traffic and unfriendliness and we were not allowed out of my mothers sight. I had spent the first years of my life up to grade three living in a mining town called Mt. Isa. We lived in a new suburb and we rode our bikes and played in the street and didn't even wear shoes to school. I loved it. I had Aboriginal friends at school as it was a brand new school and we had mixed classes. I had no idea at the time and only really discovered in the past 10 years that there was segregation of Aboriginals and White kids in my town when I was little. My parents never showed any sort of racism in our home but we must of somehow been spared any thoughts or comments about what was wrong in the world. Maybe I was just too young to remember but throughout my schooling over the following years I was never given any education to the Aboriginal plight and what had happened and what was still going on. It was only after I chose to study at University that I learnt many of the truths and was profoundly moved by my ignorance.
My mother and father sold that business and we moved to a new home and settled there for the remaining years of my life at home. We moved to a new suburb into a new house. My mother worked part time so she was home in the afternoons and my father worked very long hours in his job. They bought us up thinking we were well of and we never seemed to want for much. Things were plain and simple. My parents had come from the working class and were considered poor. Even though we openly talked of love and talked to each other they hid so much from us children. Like interests rates going over 20% and my parents nearly losing our family home. I got a part time job at the age of 12 and I loved the independance it gave me. I have always worked from then on and I bought all of my underwear, most of my cloths and even managed to buy cigerettes and start smoking. It wasn't until I was in high school that I really thought about others having more than I did. I started to notice that other parents thought they were better than us and I didn't like that. I think that was when I first started to be against consumerism and I didn't even realise it. I could have gone the other way and wanted what everyone else had but I didn't and I never really have. I have dabbled over the years in having lots of stuff but it never lasted and all I ever wanted was lots of friends and lots of things to do. I liked to be busy. I just loved my social life. I never really thought about careers and marriages and children. I just floated through listening to good music and having fun and sorting out the pecking order amongst friends. I certainly never thought about how I would raise a family. I know now that I had some very strong opinions as to what was wrong and right. I had some very firm beliefs on equality and fairness but it wasn't like I actually thought about these things or debated them. I just lived them.
The first marriage was while I was very young. The proverbial teenage mother at 18 and two children by 21. Shotgun wedding as such. The partying went on and the social life was the most important thing. This didn't last as the rent doesn't get paid when the husband doesn't work and without any true understanding I wanted and craved for more in my life and more for my children. I craved security and a childhood for them just like the one I had. I never craved things.
I met my next husband and we bought our first house and I worked fulltime as did he and the boys were looked after by my mother and she took them to school and she knew things about them that I didn't know. I had enough. I am a fairly impulsive person with regard to being able to make decisions quickly. I obviously had all of these subconscious thoughts about child rearing and family life and what I wanted. So this is when we sold up house and moved. I think I suprised my parents so much that they were speechless. I don't remember any negatives from them. My husbands father helped us set up a business that we could work from home and we just simply started a new life.
I look back today and am so thankful for all of the periods in my life where I jumped in feet first. The lessons learnt in these times actually are only coming to me now but they are such special and extrodinary lessons and I am so thankful to have learnt them.
Tomorrow I will write about this extrodinary period of my life. Living a simple life and not even knowing it. Living a dream that hadn't even been visualised. It was no picnic and it was very hard at times but where I am today and the knowledge I have today along with my strong beliefs come from this period in my life. Well they come from my whole life to this point. I know how strong and resilient I am and I know how enterprising I can be. I know I am not a sook that can't poop in an outdoor toilet and I can shower under the stars. I also know the things I don't know for example good gardening skills amongst other things.
I will not be writing about regret. I usually do not waste my time on regrets. I don't even have to fight and tussle in my head with regrets. If anything I tend to live too much in the future and definately not enough in the present day. I certainly cannot be accused of living in the past.
I am not sure how this post came about but to me and for me it is a necessary piece of writing. I want to get it all down and this is perhaps because I know I am about to start anew. I love being a litlle older and a little wiser. I have an idea of taking all the things I have learnt and now putting them into practice. I don't have an airy fairy picture in my head of living of the land and being completely self sufficient. But I have realised that I do know a few things and am willing to learn more. I think my real blog has begun. I love reading others people blogs and websites from all walks of life but I think mine has now moved into the direction it needed to take. I do not like being all over the place. My thoughts here I think will take on more of a clarity of who I am and what I believe and what I am trying to achieve in my life. And also what I can teach others about what knowledge and experience I have. I absolutely enjoy learning. I love learning from others and it has occured to me that maybe others can learn from me as well.
Cheers and Peace,
Wendy
