CHOICES

Good Evening Everyone

I don't know why but everytime you go onto my blog it brings up one of the older posts and not the latest one written. Also it keeps putting in the incorrect date and time. So just so you know this post is written at around 7.44PM on Wednesday the 10th March.

I was just reading through one blog which led to another blog – some people have so much to offer – their words are perfect and just so right at the moment in your life when you read them – see below - Not my words but someone else’s and so TRUE !!!!

Now I have, as many do, moments where things just do not go my way. In the past I have felt that God and/or the universe has a sense of humor and I was the punch line. I also realize the more I feel “cosmic victim”, the more I can find circumstances to substantiate this feeling based upon my chosen perspective. The key word here is “chosen”. What we focus on is what we see!

So this has led me today to think constantly about what I am choosing in my life. How am I choosing my outcomes by my thoughts. I don’t want to just read these words and make no changes. I don't want to write these words and not make changes. I don't want the words to have no actions. This year is about making it WORTHWHILE, so that means not doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I have also just been reading a post and below is a bit taken from that blog.

What is your dream life? Does it represent the changes in you and your desire to live a simple life?
http://simple-green-frugal-co-op.blogspot.com/2010/03/of-what-do-you-dream.html

So the two things on my mind are the choices I am making about the things I am doing as well as the choices I am making about the things I am thinking and my attitude. Then that leads me to be thinking about what I would describe as my dream life.

I have just sat down and reread my goals and my vision of my life that I have written before. Nothing has changed actually – it is still the way I think – I have achieved a few things since writing these things. The main one I am working on at the moment is the not smoking – it is now 10 days today since I was smoking. TEN days - wow - doesn't time fly when you are having fun. Again I have to say how proud of myself I am. Not in a gloating way but in a very personal positive way. This is for me and all about me. I can feel that my circulation is definately on the improvement as I can feel things better. I am not sure how to explain this but my sensations and feeling seem to be increasing and the funny thing is that I didn't even realise that those things were lacking. Incredible. My memory is improving as well. On the down side I am still very emotional but it is hard to say how much is caused by the not smoking or by the actual situations I am going through at the moment. Just a lot going on with personal family life and work etc. Normal everyday things to a certain degree but still enough to make me feel a bit edgy. Still a cup of tea is so much better than a dirty old fag.

Anyway I might share my life vision on here in the next day or so. It is funny that - it feels like it is so personal and I am a bit embarrased to share it but it would be good to share what I dream for myself as I have noticed that when you write something here on the blog - even if no one reads it or only a few people - it still makes me accountable and that is what the title of my blog is all about.

Thanks for listening and please share any thoughts you have about what I have written.

Peace be spilling all over you

Wendy

HARD DAY TODAY

Hi everyone

Today has not been very good and certainly doesn't feel like it lives up to the Worthwhile catergory. Just to many pressures and I feel completely smothered in negative energy. Not going to bore you with the details and I am sure you have all been there before. So I just read some of my own advise. Firstly - JUST KEEP SWIMMING - even though I have cursed the water I am swimming in all day long. Secondly - BE KIND TO MYSELF - I have been talking to myself and saying nice soothing things to myself and then I yell a bit at me, the universe and any other energy that might take notice then back to nice soothing things.

Then I thought well I will read the blogs I follow and I read my brothers - Soap Box - and he made me think of love and how lucky I am to be surrounded by love. Then I read Lessons From The Monk I Married and again I got another WOW moment. Not todays post which by the way is very interesting about voting but the day before - Lesson 66 - JUST SHOW UP - below is a bit from this post. Have a read - again it is a wonderfully insightful post which was completely relevant to my day / week / year.

Thinking too much can paralyze a person. You may start to negotiate or think of excuses of why you can't do something. Anyone can rationalize their way out of not doing something. I say, "Don't think, just show up." Nine times out of ten, I feel much better for having done so. I attribute a great deal of the success I've had in life to "just showing up." Of course you have to do the work too, but chances are, if you've showed up, you'll do it.

So I am going to concentrate on just showing up each day to my life at the moment when things are seeming a bit hard to handle. I will keep swimming and just show up.

Tonight Mick and I have said we would join a local dancing club. They meet each Tuesday evening and we know nothing about what to do and how to dance. I have made excuses before but I will JUST SHOW UP TONIGHT and see what happens.

Today is day 9 of not smoking. I have had an emotional day today and thought about smokes more than other days. I don't want one and I haven't been tempting to run of to the shop and buy some - actually I didn't think of that at all. Just acknowledging that my old habit has risen it's ugly head because even though it never solved a thing and actually caused more problems in the end I did have a nasty habit of reaching for a fag when I was depressed, anxious, upset, worried or angry. I actually was a chain smoker and this chain has been broken.

So anyway I am very proud of my muddled and confused way I have got through today. Even though it was all messy around the edges I didn't cave in and smoke and I remembered finally very late in the day to be kind to myself and I am going to make the day WORTHWHILE after all by getting of my butt and going dancing tonight.

Thanks for listening and I hope I haven't drained anyone with all of that negative energy.

Peace to you all,

Wendy