unashamedly all about me.... Wendy
what I think.... what I feel.... my emotions... my gut feelings... what I eat... what I believe...what beliefs are changing... what I am doing....where I am going... what I am creating...recipes I love.... books I read.... poetry I write....things that rock my boat and interest me....and also the other way around...our conversation together...our learning together...our sharing together... WELCOME

Thursday, December 29, 2016

IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP NEO..... IT'S TIME



 
 
 


There are a few things that have been happening over the past months and particularly in the previous few weeks. The irritability has been building about any little thing that usually doesn't move me or bother me or that I can usually just let go with ease and even just ignore. This irritability has even been at the irritability itself. I have felt even in the busyness of life a lost feeling and sort of emptiness that I was thinking was bad and my fault and not at all how I should be feeling. Be thankful woman - be grateful - you are not allowed to feel this way. Lost - blah - just complaining and whinging. I have felt an overwhelming need to stop and adjust and realign my life - to set goals and new directions. I have felt out of control in many ways because every plan I have made for the past 6 months or so has just melted away and I have known in my heart - in the knowingness - that these events would not unfold or not occur as planned. The final two have happened this week with a cancelled camping trip and then a postponed road trip to my son's for a visit. Neither surprise me and in many ways I just knew. But the thing is that I constantly have had plans not align now for so long that I am adverse to making any plans at all. And finally I have seen synchronicity after synchronicity confirm everything that is happening is happening in the correct way. There is confirmation constantly around me.



This morning was absolute confirmation that I am exactly where I am meant to be and doing exactly what I am meant to be doing right now.

I caught myself standing in front of an open fridge this morning - holding the door open and staring into the void thinking - why am I so irritable, what's wrong with me, I feel like I have to start over and go back to basics, do we constantly have to redo everything we learn, what's happening to me and on and on. I close the fridge make a cup of tea and sat down  to write in my journal but remembered a saved article on Facebook and I have A KNOWING that this article is be read and taken in NOW! The biggest synchronicity - the complete answer to all of my questions to the food in my fridge.



The article below -
CAN YOU FEEL IT - 5 SIGNS YOU ARE ABOUT TO UNDERGO A LIFE CHANGING SHIFT.

http://thespiritscience.net/2016/04/25/can-you-feel-it-5-signs-youre-about-to-undergo-a-life-changing-shift/

Well tick number one. Irritable - yes - even irritable at my irritability.

Tick of number two.  Lost, directionless, desire less, emptiness.... yes to all of these feeling even in the midst of life's joys and busyness. According to this article this is when your soul speaks and mine has been clearly calling to me. I have even been led to do a meditation by Dr. Barbara De Angelis called The Knowingness In Your Heart (see link below to listen on You Tube)

https://youtu.be/a7J808de-CI

I have noticed though that even in the midst of these feelings and emotions I have a clarity in my mind that is surprisingly clear and I have been able to find peace and calm even in the noises around me. I also have noticed this with my body as I recently said to my naturopath that even though the body was in more pain that my mind was so clear and concise that it was scary at times.

Tick to number three as I just purchased my yearly journal from cupcakes and cauldrons and have set aside the next few days to plan and give thought to the direction of my life and what I wish to focus on.

Tick to number four because I have come to the place where I seriously do not feel I want to make a plan of any sort at the moment. I know in my heart that right now I am to flow and allowing the universe to do what needs to be done to align me with where I am meant to be and align me with what I am meant to be doing. I also have learnt through these experiences to listen to my intuition - to trust myself and even if the direction I am being given seems out of whack with what I want or others want from me that this is okay. TRUST myself. I knew these things were not going to pan out the way that was being planned but I insisted on setting dates.

And finally tick of number five. This whole entire article was a synchronistic - an INSTANT ANSWER to my questions into the void of my fridge and how absolutely AMAZING this is. There are so many synchronicities that are to many to mention but the final one is the words "IT IS TIME". I read these words  the other day in an article from the Nicole on her blog Cauldrons and Cupcakes (see link below)

https://cauldronsandcupcakes.com/2016/12/16/what-are-you-ready-to-give-up/

and the same words have come up many times. They were the final words in this article. IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP NEO.....

IT'S TIME Wendy....




Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Ask and be Grateful.... Tadah... Suprise







Mick and I have started to do a short meditation together each morning before he heads of to work. It is something that I have wanted to share with Mick for a very long time and now it is happening it feels slightly surreal. But I am very grateful. The benefits are out of this world with even just a short meditation each day. Focus for the day and a setting up for success and balance in handling whatever happens for the day.

I am so GRATEFUL to the Universe for the direction and answers to my desires and yearnings. It is amazing just what can happen in a persons life when they get out of their own way and let go of the controlling and organising and planning and structuring... the micro managing.

I surrendered my relationship with Mick and all of my trying to find common ground and fix things - either him or myself. I asked the Universe and anything for me and wanting to help me - I asked... for common ground, something of common interest, direction in our lives. I asked for softening of the edges, I asked for healing in our relationship, I asked for excitement to enter back into our lives, I asked for help and then I let go.

Oh and another thing I ask for - often now - is to be surprised.... Universe - Surprise me.... and wow do I get that answered and I know it's not me because the things that happen in answer to this request are things I would never have thought up myself. I just become open and I am enjoying the surprises. It is like my birthday every day.

Surprises this week have included... a job around the corner from home won at the last minute when we had no other work on the books... Then surprise again because it has turned into a larger than expected job and continues into next week. Surprise surprise when Mick said yes to attending James Greenshields workshop last Sunday. And we actually went. Surprise surprise as to doing meditation together. Surprise that we are also going to do yoga together with Jenny at Gundiah this Friday. Surprise at the stimulating conversation and communication happening between us. Surprise at the personal growth of Mick in such a short time.

Surprise me Universe... I let go of control and micro managing and am completely open to the amazing amount of good in the Universe and I accept all good into my life. Thankyou.

I have been taught over the past year or so about ASKING... We don't ask enough. We don't believe we deserve or are worthy. We are so used to being denied and we think that is the norm. Well it is not. ASK for help - ask for guidance - ask for direction and peace and calm and love. ASK your God, The Universe, Angels, Spirit Guides, Buddha, Your Higher Self.... use whatever terms feels best to you but ASK.

Eternally Grateful this evening,
Cheers,
Wendy

Monday, July 25, 2016

We FILTER so much - and we see so LITTLE sometimes.

Yesterday I went to a men's workshop with Mick. There is so much to write about this and I will share as I process the day in my heart.

This is the event Mick and I attended - I will share more soon.
 
The thing right at this moment that is stuck in my mind and playing over and over again is the lesson shown again to me to NEVER judge a book by it's cover. NEVER. When I look at someone I have NO IDEA about them and their lives and where they are currently.

At lunch yesterday I was sitting with new people that I had never met before. We were sharing a bit about ourselves and our stories to open ourselves up a little to new acquaintances. I was sitting beside a woman who I had noticed immediately upon entering the function room and spending the morning learning with everyone. I had noticed her when we had morning tea. What had I noticed? I thought she was very well groomed - I liked her hairstyle and the cloths she wore and just her general feminine way of being - it gave me the impression of a strong woman who was comfortable in her femininity and her masculine side. I looked and thought - ahh well balanced - confident. She was gently spoken and quite thoughtful including others in her conversations.

At lunch I overheard as she shared her story that she was a recovering alcoholic. 5 years now. I heard that she had driven trucks interstate and large mine trucks for most of her career. I heard how she had spent most of her life working with males and growing up with males. I heard how she felt she struggled with her feminine side and how she desperately wanted to get in touch with that side of herself. I heard that she felt that there is a lack of outreach for women and more available for men.
I SAT THERE GOBSMACKED.

Seriously.... just think about how our perceptions and learnt behaviours and beliefs effect our lives and relationships with others. We FILTER so much - and we see so LITTLE sometimes.

I took this on board again. It is a difficult and never ending challenge to stop the filtering. I find one way is to SLOW DOWN and really listen to the other person. Take the time to talk and ask them their story. Ask them about themselves. But it's the choice to slow down and take the time to do this. We live in a world that taking the time to chat and talk and listen and ask questions of other's is not common. That's one way to stop some filtering.

Can you share any other ideas with me? Any other stories of how you have been shown this lesson in life?

Cheers,
Wendy

And a sunset photo - just because....
 
 
 



Monday, July 18, 2016

How I wish you were able to sit at my table - share a meal and glass of wine - and converse

Interesting event this evening. I shared a post on Facebook and then had a discussion with a friend. It was brief and contained. The topic at the moment is not what I wish to discuss and delve into but it is the fact of how I felt in my body when I gave my opinion. It is the thoughts I had as I wrote and thought about what I wanted to say. It was the fact that a comments section on Facebook or social media is just a surreal waste of space to convey a line of thought and that it does no justice to the person's sharing. And also the fact that our opinions change and our beliefs change and we are held constantly accountable and judged on our previous thoughts.





The first thing I noticed was a restriction in my chest. A tightness and a feeling that as I sat with it was akin to flight or fight response. I realised I usually run and by run I mean I hide. I do not speak. I delete what I was going to say or share unless I am sure it's okay with everyone else. I have realised that to me that's the safest option. There are benefits as I listen more. I probably let on to my opinion through silence sometimes. That happened recently when with my brother. He said, "you are awfully quiet - what's your opinion". Rabbit is a headlight.....

But I have been working on doing things differently and doing at least one thing a day that is not in my box of comfort. So today because of the intent I am putting out there I think this happened.

I have been working on FEAR's in my body, mind and spirit. The fear of rejection raised it's head here. The fear of not being agreed with. The fear of being wrong or perceived wrong.

I did a piece of artwork at college and it depicted FEAR in all it's pretty shapes and sizes and colours. Fear can disguise itself in very pretty ways that make us feel safe and secure staying with it.

I have been delving into what hold's me back from being me. From shining. From speaking. So in comes the fear of my opinion being not good enough. Fear of being inadequate to say what I wanted to say.

So I tread softly and gently and when I was going to delete I stayed. When I was telling myself, "see they will not like you now" I ignored the fear. But I will say that I checked in with my spirit and I was not coming from any unkindness and that is my gauge.

I sat with the feeling. I acknowledged all of these things going on inside me. I sat with it. I am now writing about it which in itself is another challenge because it's like being raw and open again to fear of perceived judgements.

It is so interesting this fear of sharing an opinion. Well for me it is. I know many people who have no problems at sharing very loudly their opinions and beliefs with the intent of trying to get me to adjust and move into their way of thinking. So I thought about what I want out of saying what I think. I believe it is the desire to be heard. The desire to say, "Hey I am thinking this even though maybe tomorrow after learning more I will be thinking something else". It is learning and discovering.

Which brings me to the point of where I feel some fear originates within. For me over time I have found that once you voice a belief or idea or opinion you are held to it. That is so wrong. We all change and learn. I do know some people who seem never to change and they keep repeating the same story over and over with just slightly different nuances. I know that my opinions and beliefs are so more mature and open and rounded and fuller than 5 years ago - 1 year ago - even 6 months ago.



And as said at the beginning, it seems to me that the fact that a comments section on Facebook or social media is just a surreal waste of space to convey a line of thought and that it does no justice to the person's sharing. There is so much more conversation I had with my husband after this where I realised so much is misconstrued and picked over and how I had wished I was able to actually have been able to convey without a foolscap page of text in a comments section. It is NOT the place of building understanding and intelligent sharing and learning.

Yes information can be shared on there and this leads to more information gathering and hoarding but no real connection and it is wrong of me to assume this. I want more real conversation over a meal and around a table. That's what I want.

So another thing I am writing gradually is a list of what I truly want in my life and I am adding this...

To sit around my table and share my food over good stimulating conversations that doesn't lead to fighting and yelling or me agreeing with you and you agreeing with me but where we learn to see things from another's perspective and commune with one another - and of course a glass of wine - always a nice glass of wine.



 
So cheers,
And feel free to leave a long comment.... Hahahah

Wendy


Thursday, July 14, 2016

Open Our Eyes And See: People Seeing Color for the First Time



I just watched a video shared on Facebook and I had to find it on YouTube and share it with you.
 






How much we take for granted - did you see the expressions of wonder and delight and awe on these peoples faces. I love these amazing things about technology that we as humans can invent and offer. Watching just made me smile and shed a little tear of excitement with them. I am thinking very much about my sight and how thankful I am.


Below is a poem that my mother gave me many years ago and I have it in my anthology and I thought of this poem immediately upon watching this video clip.

VISION

I was talking to a lady,
While we waited for a bus,
She spoke of all the beauty,
That was surrounding us.

She started naming flowers,
That were all in full bloom,
And how she loved the fragrance,
Of their delicate perfume.

Then she named each of the birds
As they sang up in the trees,
How she knew just what they were
Was a mystery to me.

And she said how nice the grass smelt
Because of last night's rain,
And wasn't it truly amazing
How no two days are ever the same.

I nodded in agreement,
But I didn't really care,
As I pulled my coat round tighter,
Against the cold chill in the air.

As the bus approached us
The lady turned to me,
And asked "What number bus is this?
I'm blind so cannot see."

I told her what the number was,
And looked at her in awe,
She had no sight,
and I could see
Yet she saw so much more.

I sat with her and thanked her
For opening my eyes for me,
I asked when she had lost her sight,
She said"I've never seen."

We talked throughout the journey
And it was clear to me,
That there are really none so blind
As those who will not see.

by Dee J. Smith 1999

TOMORROW'S CHALLENGE TO MYSELF AND YOU

Open our EYES and SEE....

Cheers,
Wendy



Tuesday, July 12, 2016

ENTHUSIASM FOR YOUR LIFE AND INTERESTS

I BEGAN TO REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS TO BE AN ENTHUSIAST IN LIFE.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN SOMETHING,
NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, GO AT IT FULL SPEED.
EMBRACE IT WITH BOTH ARMS, HUG IT, LOVE IT
AND ABOVE ALL BECOME PASSIONATE ABOUT IT.
LUKEWARM IS NO GOOD.

- Roald Dahl
Miss. Froggy goes a shopping - gift I made for my Aunty who collects frogs for her garden.

I was wondering about what to write about today. What is the one thing that stood out to me the most on todays journey?

I am currently in the final hours of sorting out all of my office and play space... my paints and play things.... my books and my space where I create and rest and work.

Up went new curtains that were gifted to me by my mother's friend. White with a lovely silver pattern. They make me feel cocooned. A lovely gift.

Up with my gift to myself of a gorgeous white and silver dream catcher which is now directly above my bed and it glistens in the daytime and tinkles when a breeze blew through the window today.

Out with the old desk and small office chair.... these were put on the footpath with a sign that said "Free"..... and in with the new larger higher office chair and computer desk with much more space on it to spread out. These were gifts from our neighbours across the road.

"Flow" washes through this story... two mornings ago I was taken by surprise when talking to Mick and I burst into tears and said I didn't like where my computer was and I felt trapped in the corner of my room. The chair was uncomfortable and very low to the floor and when my knees are hurting it was quite a difficult chair to get out of. This little teary session took me by surprise but I am currently taking Australian Bush Flower Essences so I understood and was just kind to myself. I got a hug from Mick and went about my business of the day. Not four hours later Mick comes back from helping the neighbour and asks would I like a new desk and chair that they are giving away. The perfect chair - the perfect desk. "FLOW" rushing through my life that day.

I purchased a few new folders for business files and I choose a new colour each financial year and this year I chose pink.... My office is looking pretty and feels nice to work with.

The final pile of papers and bits and pieces is my poetry / anthology books. I collect poems that speak to me and move me and I write them as well. I have got a little side tracked reading them this evening. I have decided that this is a passion I am going to allow space and time for in my life. I love to art journal so I will begin art journaling my anthologies... and it's just for me. The odd person may look at them - I am getting better at sharing my poems but generally this is something for me that gives me simple joy.

So this is a reminder that you can make things, enjoy things and pursue an interest even if it is only seen and enjoyed by you alone. Somehow this feels decadent as we are generally taught to give our attention to what can be viewed and appreciated and utilised by others BUT that is a misconception. So go ahead like me and if you have a private passion - enjoy the decadence and luxury of allowing yourself that gift.

I came across the quote written above and I really wanted to share it with you today.

What point is there to LUKE WARM living.... a life without ENTHUSIASM....

and "what is bliss sublime for me - endless boredom is to thee" (from The Naked Buddha, Venerable Adrienne Howley)

So what are you ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT?

Cheers,
Wendy

Monday, July 11, 2016

Love At First Sight - a poem

Love At First Sight.
Wendy House 9/10/2011

It was love at first sight,
but I never said or thought it would last.
I know myself better than that.
I know I fall in love so easily
and how easily the next sparkle can move me
in a new direction.
I held you in my gaze,
I imagined touching you,
wearing you,
feeling you.
I had no control.
I stepped through the door,
I took a deep breath
and asked to see you
and it was definitely love, love at first sight.
And I tried you on.
I twirled and fluttered,
and opened my purse.
I then went on home
with my new dress.