Last week something did not go as I had planned. Out of the blue I went to react like I may have only a few short months ago. And then I felt calm. The reaction just went away and washed over me. Disappeared. Vanished. It made me laugh. I was so surprised and I said to my husband. Well that was just pretend. I am not even actually angry.... just reacting in an old way. It felt wonderful. And then I knew that I was growing. Growing in spirit.
Today though I did get angry and voiced my opinion to someone on the phone. But then something happened during and afterwards. I said my piece and while saying what I thought I actually caught myself thinking of what to say and to actually let something stop before I said it. Then afterwards I let it go. I truly did not get myself riled up and carry on with it. I said what I said. I dealt with what needed to be dealt with and then BAM it was gone. So very different to what I used to be like.
So very different.....
THOSE OVER WHELMING LISTS
I WRITE LISTS.... lists of what I want to do, should be doing, wish I was doing and planning on doing. Oh those lists - they suck up my time and energy and lure me into a false sense of achievement. I think I may have written the last one. It's like an addiction. Such a habit.
Today journal writing is a clear message to me from the Universe to stop trying to do everything at once. I need to build momentum. The ripple effect from small achievements. So even though this is not new to me in learning it is fairly new to me in activity. Do one thing. Do it every day for 21 days. Then keep going with that one thing and add another activity. Do that for 21 days along with the original activity and then again another one for another 21 days. Basically a 21 day cycle of incorporating new and welcome habits into my life.
I try to do all things at once. It is my usual way of over loading myself and over whelming myself. Then I have to work quite hard at convincing myself that I am okay and that I am not a failure. As it is said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Not going to happen.
So today was day 1 of 21 days of two new habits I want to incorporate into my life. I will start my day each morning before anything else with a glass of warm water with lemon juice in it. The second one is to meditate for 20 minutes a day. Both done today....
HOW IT STARTED (or continued with me finally noticing)
My real journey started about 7 months ago with a commitment to speak out loud and write down a set of affirmations every day for 21 days. This came about through a card reading of which I had never in my life ever done before. I am extremely dubious and cautious when it comes to this and was surprised when a counselling session became this. I decided on the spot to go with it. I was fairly reserved, though I found the lady I was with to just feel right to me. Pages of pages of notes were taken by her while she talked and went through the cards that I had chosen. What was said to me that day was EXACTLY what had been consistently coming up in my life, over and over again. The same messages, the same guidance. Synchronicity, Intuition, Guidance or whatever word you use, it was very very real and moved me to action.
21 days later I was changed. I have not stopped growing since. I would say it was The Shift in my life as Dr. Wayne Dyer would say. Dr. Wayne W Dyer - The Shift I will write more on this movie another time. I had not watched this movie at this stage.
I spoke these affirmations out loud in front of the mirror every day. I spoke them out loud as I drove my car. I just constantly kept coming back to them when other things in my thoughts felt ill at ease and not nice. I wrote them down in my journal every day for 21 days seven times each. I even sat up one night and did this after a late night out because I wanted to do this correctly and honestly.
Well they worked. They worked. They worked.
These are the affirmations I used in those first 21 days. They changed words after this 21 days as I understood more and moved forward. My current affirmations are not quite so long. I asked the Universe for guidance when choosing what needed to be affirmed in my life at this stage.
" I am willing to change.
I approve of myself.
I approve of myself and how I am changing."
"I am willing to release the need to be unworthy.
I am worthy of the very best in life,
and I lovingly allow myself to accept it.
I am worthy of all good things including success."
"I am highly creative and I trust in my creativity given to me by God.
I am an artist and a writer and a poet.
I am a teacher.
I am a healer."
"I am willing to release the need to be serious all of the time.
I have a wonderful sense of humour.
I laugh often.
I am playful.
I enjoy my life.
I am thankful and grateful for every breath I take."
"I am special and unique.
I am magnificent. I am caring and understanding.
It's okay for me to be myself.
I am perfect the way I am.
It's okay to be me. I am good enough."
"I am focused and always finish what I start.
I am capable and knowledgeable.
I am intelligent, smart and clever.
I am good enough."
"I am totally open and receptive to the abundant flow of prosperity that the Universe offers.
I am worthy of abundance in my life.
I am deserving of abundance and I receive abundance in my life.
All my needs and desires are met before I even ask."
Thanks for reading and leave a comment if you feel so inclined. Discussions are good.