unashamedly all about me.... Wendy
what I think.... what I feel.... my emotions... my gut feelings... what I eat... what I believe...what beliefs are changing... what I am doing....where I am going... what I am creating...recipes I love.... books I read.... poetry I write....things that rock my boat and interest me....and also the other way around...our conversation together...our learning together...our sharing together... WELCOME

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Learning to live in my place.... Being Settled and something that sounds like a Bob Dylan song.

Sometimes I feel like I am getting no where and going no where. Then I look around. I stop and I think and ponder this amazing space I have the privilege to live on. And those panic attacks of "oh I am missing out on something" gently go away.

My husband Mick has been the person in many ways to help me the most to settle. He gives me a strong sense of security and surrounds me with unconditional love. He expects the same from me and he gets it to the best of my ability. We compliment each other and support each other. Iit is when we take the eye of supporting each other that outside events can overwhlem us and make us uptight and whingy people to be around. Sometimes it makes others laugh how we do this in our home. The other day I was asked if when we get our ride on mower would I be riding around the block mowing. NO was my answer. It sounds like I am lazy and such but to be honest things like that just do not interest me. I will garden and weed and plant and be outside and get my hands dirty but mowing is not my thing and Mick likes doing to it. I cook and clean and wash and iron and do the things that I like to do. I know it sounds boring and women have fought the good fight to make it that  I can do all of these other things but the bottom line is that I like keeping house and believe me I am the most suprised sometimes.

I also like randomly going away. I like travelling. I like suprises. I Like entertaining. I like to be on top of my bills. I like to dance. I like to get dressed up sometimes. I like the quiet. I like loud music. The point is that here in my space I am finding a way to have all the things I need most of the time. Currently travelling and random trips away are not on the cards but I am learning patience and just enjoying being now.

I may not seem to be doing much but learning how to live differently in this consumerist world and learning that I do not have to have everything I see and learning to live on less is doing something big as far as I am concerned. I have read lots of books and looked at lots of peoples ideas. I would not profess to be on a level of understanding in the sense of academic knowledge as far as the environment, politics and economy go, but I do know which way I lean towards.

I see a steady and gradual change around me. Sometimes I wonder is it just because I feel like I am a bit more aware? Is it because we are feeling the pinch money wise and work wise? All I know is that things are changing. A slow decline. Things that used to be are no more available. Help where help was once given is now drying up. Oh you can buy whatever you want still at a cost and if you have the money it probably doesn't seem like to much has change, but it has.

I wrote a post a long time ago - and I can't find it to link back to it - about if things are going to get tight and if things are going to get difficult and if our world is going to change then really the biggest thing a person can do now before TSHTF is to do your grieving. You can learn new skills and try and plan ahead as much as possible but in the end I had made up my mind that this piece of advice was the best. No point me trying to work out what direction all of the numerous ways this world and the way it runs is going to unfold. I simply have accepted that the world will be changing and I will see this in my lifetime.

So I have grieved. I still am optimistic about our ability as humans to survive but it will be different in the long run as. I have days where I get frustrated and want more. Other days - even two hours later in the same day - I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for what I have. I tend to lean towards the gratitude more these days. I don't fight against the steady flow in my life. It's like going with the seasons. I learn new skills when I can and I try to make that everyday. Every day I try to do something new - give something a go. It could be collecting seeds of a shallot plant that I have never done before. I am teaching myself how to sew basic little girls dresses and skirts. Next I want to make myself a simple shift dress for summer around the house.

I usually do not miss shopping anymore. I have to say that the thought still grabs me to get into town and go shopping but it is usually these days to do with gardening supplies, grocery and stocking the store cupboard, second hand shops and garage sales and flea markets. I have learnt that even these simple things have to wait sometimes. Also it is just as easy to over buy/spend on craft items as it is on handbags and shoes. I tend not to waste my dollar anymore. I think about each dollar and it's value and what I want out of it.

So this post came about because I was just thinking about a comment a friend left on my last post. I realised that I have come far. I have settled.

This world has so many things all happening at once. I see the damage and greed and exploitation of CSG mining happening here in our country, at my back door and it hurts. I see our economy going to shit, good people who geniuinely need help not get anything but a series of fights to try and win some financial help. I see ice melting, worlds colliding, religious fanatics, greedy companies, nature doing it's thing, melting permafrosts, job loss, goverments badly run, politicians not doing, people not fighting, health declining and the list goes on. (sounds like a Bob Dylan song)

I have no idea how things will unfold. Like I said I believe personally it is happening now and it is a slow decline that will pick up momentum. How can it not. We live on a finite planet as the saying goes and we cannot use a infinite amount of resources because there simply is not an infinate amount to go around. That's a basic. Secondly greed, control and power are all still very precious commodities to a small but extremely powerful group in this world.

But I feel settled. I have grieved and some days grieve more for this world and it's preciousness being lost. But the bottom line is that I can overwhlem myself day in and day out and get no where or just leant to settle in place. Accept things are going to change. Be prepared as much as possible with some skills that will come in handy and that I can swap with others for their skills I need. My son watchs the news every moment of every day when he can. It consumes him. It leaves no room for any peace in his life and certainly leaves no room for gardening, growing, nurturing himself and just having some peace even for part of a day. All his worry in his days is not going to change the world. It hurts him and destroys his soul. It makes him sad.

Thanks for reading if you got to the end of this page and are still with me.

Homemade Lemon Merengue Pie makes so many things better.....

Second little dress I made for my grand daughter.Llady Bugs always make people feel good. The crooked pocket was intentional....really



  1. Wow! Lots of stuff going in your head Wendy. I get the feeling from your words that when you wrote this you were feeling maybe a little overwhelmed by the negativity in what you perceive is the current economy. Maybe I've misread your words, but that's the pervasive feeling. Though your words are contradictory to your photos and the feelings of gratitude you have for the simple day-to-day things in your life which give you the most pleasure and satisfaction. I hope that you continue to see what's good around you and dwell on that. I love reading about what you're up to and what you're learning and applying! And as for news...I have a self-imposed news ban. Too much negative stuff, that like you said, you can't do anything about. So why dwell on what you can't control? Focus on what you can do to effect change. Whatever son you're talking of, it must be hard for you to see and not be able to help. I hope that one day he discovers that he has the power to effect change in his own life, rather than give that power over to 'others' out their in the news world and the world at large. Sending you and your son lots of loving thoughts. XXX

    1. Funny that this piece seemed down but I was just talking reality. Blinkers of and you see the whole world. The good the bad and the ugly. Not depressed at all. Yes i suppose it seemed contradictory but to me it is exactly like life - it's all there and we choose what we want to focus on. Cheers, Wendy and thanks so much for leaving the comment.