unashamedly all about me.... Wendy
what I think.... what I feel.... my emotions... my gut feelings... what I eat... what I believe...what beliefs are changing... what I am doing....where I am going... what I am creating...recipes I love.... books I read.... poetry I write....things that rock my boat and interest me....and also the other way around...our conversation together...our learning together...our sharing together... WELCOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My Fantastic Parents and That Kind Of Stuff




Well I finally decided to write. I didn't even go near my computer for four days except for specific work related issues and then turned it of immediately once I had finished what I had to do. You see I had my parents visit me and that was just so much better than being online. I missed you all, I really did, but my Mum and Dad visiting for a long weekend was just a wonderful break. I absolutely cherish the fact that I genuinely enjoy their company. We talked, we relaxed and read quietly, we discussed differnt issues in the world, we played scrabble on mor than one occcassion, we visited family and wandered around the shops. By anyone elses standards it would have been downright boring but I have to tell you that that is not the case to me. I have no idea how I will cope one day without them. They are like a soothing balm to my soul and I am so thankful that we have this relationship and I know that they are thankful as well. So many of my friends do not even have a parent alive or they do not speak to them or visit with them or have any sort of relationship with one of their parents or both in some cases. I cannot imagine me missing out on them in my life and I want to soak up as much of them as I can, while I can. Anyway just wanted to say where I have been the past few days.

If you get bored with reading at least skip to the bottom now and read the poem I have added for you today........ this is a long post................

Then I got back online and read up on the blogs I am following and it was like a HUGE AHA and WOW moment that lasted hours last night. I had to go away and really think about all of the things I had read. So much flow happening at the moment and so much for me to take notice of.

I will share just some of the things that have stopped me in my tracks and shown me that I am on the right path and that all these things happening in my life are all tying in together. I have no idea where exactly it is all heading but I have been shown clearly enough on what to focus on.

A few posts ago I wrote about the saying Mick and I use of "Just Keep Swimming" from the movie Finding Nemo. Well this is a bit hard to explain but I went online and went into Katherines blog "Lessons from the monk I married" and started to catch up on the past four days or so of posts I hadn't read. One after another they touched me and absolutely floored me with how completely in touch they are with what I am being shown at the moment and I then went to post a comment to Katherine and when the word came up for me to type in to post it was actually "DORIE". Now I know you might laugh at me but it was a huge wow moment because Dorie is the one who says "just keep swimming".

Then I read Consumption Rebellion and had another moving moment. Again a little story needs to be told to explain. On the weekend we all were sitting around and reading our horoscope in the Sunday paper. It was a bit of a laugh and joke but when I read mine I felt a bit uptight about what it said and was a bit touchy. It basically said that I needed to be generous for the universe to be able to give back to me. Now I sat there and thought about it and said how I am generous and how more generous can I be. Blah, Blah, Blah. You get the picture. Poor Me Pity Party going on there for a while. Then I put it out of my mind until I read this post on GENEROSITY. Well that explained it to a T. I now get what I am being told and I will now dwell on this and go further with it. I had to immediately go up the road after reading this and get a lady up the road who is a JP to sign some paperwork for us. She is a fulltime volunteer and so is her husband. They give so much to this little community and they are genuiunely such nice people. She again asked me to come up and join them. This is a whole other post to write but before I moved to this area and started working from home I had promised myself that I would start giving some of my time to help the elderly who are stuck at home and have no way to go shopping or have no one to visit them. I have done nothing about this since moving here and procrastinated continually with one excuse or another. Time to do some serious actions and stop the thinking and planning. Just DIVE.

One of the posts recently read was on being patient and learning to wait. What a timely reminder on so many levels in my life but especially with my daughter being due for her first baby and the little one is due now so could come at any time within the next two weeks. A real test in patience for me as I have to help her be patient - so leading by example is the only way.

Oh I could go on and on but I won't. Just know that I thankyou. All of You. The sharing you all give is absolutely priceless and you will never know all the ripple effects you all have on the peoples lives that read your words.

Today is DAY 31 of not smoking. I am just about to go into my second month of non smoking tomorrow. I am doing fine. I have no desire to have a smoke. I don't want one but believe me this mind is a tricky thing and keeps trying to tell me that a smoke will make me feel calmer. A smoke will make me feel better. I DON'T THINK SO. All I can do is turn this mind game thing into exactly that - a game. I actually laughed at myself the other day. I am glad I was on my own. I was talking to myself and laughed at myself and then got offended at myself. How silly.

If you liked a post I wrote a few days ago about online friends then you might want to take a look at a post on the blog "Healing Morning". I have added her to my watched blogs and her recent post about friends online is a very interesting read.

Anyway I think I will leave you with a poem that I like from Gary Ord's Australian Friendship Book.

THAT KIND OF STUFF

If you would be a man, sir,
And not a jelly fish,
You'll have to cease your longing,
To pamper every wish.
It may be fun just longing,
But longing's not enough,
You'll need a bit of courage -
It takes that kind of stuff.

When dreams you have been weaving
Come crumbling down to earth,
It's nature's way of proving
A man - and what he's worth;
Perhaps you know the reason,
But that is not enough,
The answer lies in courage -
It takes that kind os stuff.

And though your heart is breaking,
And like a lump of lead,
Just test the metal in you,
By forging right ahead;
If you would be a man, sir,
Then longing's not enough,
You'll need a bit of courage -
It takes that kind of stuff.


By Hope Spencer

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Todays AHA experience!

My gorgeous and adorable Grandson Mason

I had no idea what I was going to write tonight as I have had quite a few things going through my head. I am really enjoying this blogging thing. I just thought I would share that with you all. I know it has probably been written before but I will say it again in my words.


I AM NORMAL - I AM NOT ALONE - I AM INTERESTING - MY IDEAS COUNT - WHAT I THINK IS JUST NOT ME - WOW AND DOUBLE WOW - THERE ARE MANY OTHERS WHO THINK LIKE ME AND THERE IS A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE OF LIKE MINDED PEOPLE - THERE IS A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE OF INTERESTING PEOPLE TO LISTEN AND LEARN FROM AND SHARE MY VIEWS WITH.


I WISH WITH ALL OF MY HEART THAT MORE PEOPLE TALKED AND CHATTED AND SHARED LIKE THIS IN THE REAL WORLD AND NOT JUST ONLINE.

So as part of this Aha experience I have been revelling in over the past few months, I would like to set myself a challenge. I will challenge myself to blog with people in real life - real talking to others I meet and relate with on a daily basis as I do on my blog. I have a tendancy to clam up and not speak what I feel and believe. I don't need to get all dogmatic or anything like that but I would like for me to be a little more open and transparent so that others can get to know the real me and then in turn they will gradually let me see the real them. I tend to only do this with a few very close friends and even then I hold back. I bet as I speak and am honest and transparent I will discover that just like in this blog world there are many others out there in the real world I live in that have things in common with me and that they have intereseting stories to tell and lesssons to teach me. I hope this doesn't sound like you are not all real to me because you are real people with wonderful lessons and stories to share. This is more about me being real and believing in myself that I am not boring and that I do have something to share with others. This is about filling in the gaps for people and not expecting them to read my mind or double guess my actions or my beliefs. When writing on my blog I can reread what I have written and I can play around a bit to get the message across that I am trying to say. Usually I just write and it doesn't get changed much but the changes I make and the additions I make can help clarify a point I am making. I clam up in real life and not explain things very well and I think it is because I worry that people will not be interested in what I have to say and that if they disagree with me then I might not be able to explain my point of view very well. Anyway I intend to try this out and I will let you know how I go.


Taking those first steps - just think of how determined we are as children and we hadn't learnt the words Can't or Failure or Give Up. It is a miracle watching him grow.


I was just reading my favorite blogs and would like for everyone to take a look at the site called Healing Morning and a blog done recently entitled Care Packages. This is such a beautiful read and if you haven't read it yet I would say go there and take a look. It was so timely what Dawn wrote. I was in the middle of printing out a poem for my eldest son and I had found an article in a magazine that I thought he would find inspirational. I do this fairly often and I also sometimes just print of a picture and a little note for friends as well. So I suppose this is a care package.


It got me to thinking about the Ripple Effect of these care packages. I can imagine my son feeling chuffed as soon as he got mail. My son has few friends that he can spend time with (due to making some drastic life changing decisions on the direction of his life) and has only just started in a job. He can get quite lonely as we live 4 hours from him. We talk on the phone constantly and I admit that sometimes I get tired of listening and being leaned on. I am only human and the feeling passes quite quickly and I just keep on encouraging and telling him how proud I am of his improvements. Anyway a letter in the letterbox is thrilling to anyone I feel at the best of times. So the ripple effect starts there. He feels good about receivng mail and that his Mum is thinking of him. He gets even more inspiration from what is sent for him to read. He is probably heading of to his new job and he will definately impact on others he works with today as well as the customers he comes into contact with. Just think of all the good you do when you do something to make someone feel good about themselves. I am in awe of this concept and am going to go and have a lovely long hot shower and dwell on these thoughts.


Just as a recap on my day - it has been 24 days since not smoking - I am doing fine today and rewarded myself today with some splurge money and bought some much needed knickers and some slippers for my daughter and a lovely coffee at a coffee shop with her.


I have done pretty good with my eating plan and last but not least I did some excercise in my garden today and got the sweat going.


So my day today has been WORTHWHILE. I haven't wasted my day - I have eaten well and tried to look after myself by not smoking and doing some excercise - I spent quality time with my daughter - I told my husband about 10 times how much I love him - I sent a care package to my son - and just generally put out good vibes to any that came near me today.

Peace to you all,


Wendy

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Gifted Hands



Kinkuna National Park Qld Australia


Hi Everyone

Today has been 23 days since I stopped smoking and you would think that the worst is over - not true - it seems that my mind went into a temper tantrum last night and was pretty cranky that I couldn't have my own way. I truly don't want to smoke and I haven't been temepted to light one up but last night I got all grumpy and shitty because I couldn't smoke anymore. That was so weird. Anyway - lots of cuddles from my gorgeous hubby and a good nights sleep fixed that problem up and today has been fine.

The eating plan has been going for 6 days today and again I am reminded how much we live our life on auto pilot. I have forgetfully veered from my eating plans a few times this week when I have had a coffee while out and then thought half way through it - bugger this is milk. And then agian when I ordered a chicken and salad sandwich. Wheat bread, grated cheese, tomatoe. You see I don't usually drink coffee and when I go out I like to sometimes stop at a nice coffee shop and have one instead of a cup of tea. Anyway I am happy with my progress but it is interesting this habit and auto pilot thing our brain does and how we can be so focused on something but still forget what we are doing.


I watched a brilliant movie last night called "Gifted Hands" - please take the time to watch this movie - it is a must watch. It is the story of the worlds best and leading brain surgeon. The story of believing in yourself - never giving up but also how education and a love of learning is one of the best gifts a parent can give to their child. I love the parenting role portrayed by the mother. I love the absolute faith of this family and the beautiful heart this man shares with people from all over the world. Such an uplifting movie and a great family movie. Watch it and let me know what you think and moves you the most when watching this mans life story. I would so like to meet him but more than that I would like to meet his mother.


I love this little poem I found in an old library book I got at a local book sale the library was holding - the book is called "Gary Ord's Australian Friendship Book" and it is full of poems and little stories etc. I found so many in here that I would like to share but I started with this one because it spoke volumes to me about just keep going - just keep pursuing my goals - like my post a while back - just keep swimming. The movie I watched last night had the same message.



KEEP ON KEEPING ON

The present seems all dreary,
The future very grim.
Your problems so perplexing,
Your chances rather slim.
Your sick and tired of trying,
And hope is nearly gone,
There's only one solution,
It's: keep on keeping on!

The way ahead is puzzling,
And clouds obstruct your view.
If this is how you're feeling,
There's just one thing to do;
Don't prove yourself a quitter,
Though hope is nearly gone,
But grit your teeth and bear it,
And keep on keeping on!

Good luck is round the corner,
So show a smiling face;
For soon your fears will vanish,
And joy will take their place.
Look forward to tomorrow,
When troubles will be gone,
Because you had the courage,
To keep on keeping on.

Hope Spencer

Friday, March 19, 2010

Just Simply Having A Good Day

Above photo taken at a reserve/park at Mothar Mountain near Gympie about 45 mins from us.


Good Afternoon to all,

Please take the time to have a look at the blog below - I have added it to my watched blogs - many thanks Katherine for introducing me and thereby any others that read my blog to this wonderful inspirational lady.

COURAGE - TO LIVE MY BEST LIFE

Today is DAY 19 of non smoking - still going strong - I was thinking about something today. It is not the actual non smoking that is causing problems at the moment - it is the fact that I simply don't seem to be wasting as much time sitting around smoking - I am busy and enjoying it. This is for lots of reasons but one of them is that today I realised that I am gradually gaining so much more energy. I am thinking clearly and I am noticing the foggy laziness is disappearing.How this causes a bit of a problem is that my husband likes to sit and do nothing and drink a beer and have a smoke. This is his choice and this comment isn't to have a go at him but I simply find I don't fit into that catergory as easily any more. It is not that I don't sit back and watch a movie with him or sit and chat or go out with him. It just means that I am gradually becoming more active than him. I have to make sure that I slow down and stop with him sometimes. Anyway these thoughts are there and I am mulling them over.

Day 1 of 30 day eating challenge went well and I am nearly finished day two. I spent all day out and about yesterday with my daughter at doctor appointments and grocery shopping and I stuck to my plan all day. I am so proud of myself for this day and I have set myself a goal of ticking of today as well. I can't remind myself enough that it is truly all in the planning. Tonight Mick will make himself and my visitor friend a meal they both like which includes meat and cheese. I am making myself a meal that I absolutely love that doesn't have any animal products or added fat. I am actually looking forward to my dinner and do not wish in any way to have what they are having. I just need to remind myself as to how full and bloated and sick I feel afer eating what thay are having and how I can have a big meal and enjoy myself and not feel yukky after my meal.

The added challenge for me is that I have a reaction to both tomatoes and wheat (as well as diary, eggs, meat) These two things have been the most interesting challenge to learn to cook without. At least it isn't actually gluten intolerance. I have organic spelt bread and that suits me fine. Tomatoes were a funny one - I knew in my heart but wanted to ignore this fact - I used to eat them in nearly every meal as a base especially as I don't have milk and dairy and cream. But before I committed to this first 30 day trial I have found and learnt how to cook lovely meals without the tomatoes and I have found a recipe to make a tomatoe free tomatoe sauce. It is actually great.


Here is another picture of my growing pineapple one week on from the last one. Hasn't it grown.

Today has been a wonderful day of discovery and I have enjoyed reading two things today that I would like to share. The first one was the introduction to this post and I have already sent you there to have a look - after you read this whole post of course - The second is the latest post by my brother - see SOAP BOX in my followed blogs to the right. I am feeling like a VERY PROUD AND PUFFED UP SISTER at the moment. You go Bro!!! I thought I was going to be able to borrow that book - I had a look through it on the night - now I think I will just buy myself a copy. Great inspirational gift Kerry.



This is a photo of my favorite spot to have a cuppa at our place on a warm afternoon. It is so cool and breezy in this spot out the front of our house when everything is is sweltering.

I didn't do anything exciting by some others standards but I cleaned and dusted my whole house - I washed my cloths and actually got them dry on the clothlines in the sun - I better enjoy that sun as the cyclone is getting closer to the coast and I think we may be in for some seriously wet weather - as if the past month wasn't wet enough - and I just pottered about. I just want to say to anyone listening that I LOVE LOVE LOVE and ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY my little house.

Have a great night everyone,

Wendy

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My 30 Day Whole Food Plant Based Food Challenge

Well day 17 of non smoking. I seriously didn't think of it at all today but have had to prepare myself for going out tonight. Not that I want one but I am planning ahead. It is Micks social darts night and I like to go along and catch up with everyone. Just preparing so I have plans to put into action while everyone smokes.

Hi there Parsley - I will take a photo each week so we can track the progress. The pineapple grows about a metre tall and is very spiky. The fruit grows out of the middle. It takes 18 months to bear fruit. I planted these pineapples from the tops of pineapples I bought at the shop and have eaten. Once they fruit they will throw of pups or suckers and then I can plant them out and they will grow into a pineapple as well. Cool hey.


Well I have finished reading the book The China Study by Colin Campbell. Now that is one interesting book. If ever there was a reason to give a whole food plant based diet a go this is it. I don't know if I want to sit here and do a book review and try and explain what this book is about and I don't know if I can give a true and proper review of this book. Why don't you do a search on the internet and see what you find or better still borrow the book from the library and read it like I did. Some find it highly controversial. I think they are the ones who would not want to change. His ideas definately challenge the status quo of nutrition. I just think it is great that at least he has sparked a debate and personally I am on his side. Many of the ideas presented by this author are familiar to me. I have been reading things over the years that lead me to the next and onwards like that. I have gradually been making changes in my diet for many years nows and there are lots of stories to go with each new discovery I have made and the proceeding dietary change. I recently have been exploring the idea of going Vegan in my diet and after reading this book and the book by John Robbins called The Food Revolution I have decided to take the challenge and do 30 days of a Vegan diet to start with and go from there. Specifically I will eat no animal products including dairy, meat, fish or eggs. This is actually not going to be to hard because I have been decresing the amount of meat and dairy I have eaten over the past few months especially if I think of the details of John Robbins book while I am eating meat or dairy. I will base my food around whole foods such as grains and beans etc and plants of all types. I will limit the amount of fat I use including oils and butter and margarine etc and limit severely the amount of sugar I use. So tomorrow is Day One of Vegan and I am looking forward to letting you know how I go. There are so many reasons why I want to do this but maybe I will end this here tonight and fill you in on a few of the details in tomorrows blog.

Today has been very Worth While as decisions have been made to further proceed towards my Dream Self. All steps in the right direction. I paid more bills and was very frugal and held onto my money and paid bills and I keep thinking and reminding myself that every dollar saved or paid of debt is one step closer to my goal of debt free. Each change in my diet in one step closer to being full of energy and vitality.

I hope you all had a good day and we will chat again tomorrow.

Peace to you all,
Wendy

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Dream Self and Pineapples




Hi Everyone


First things first - please look at the picture of my PINEAPPLE. I am so excited to have my first pineapple growing and I so hope possums and wallabies don't eat them because I want to share this pineapple with my Dad.




Today is day 16 of not smoking. I have'nt taken a puff of my asthma spray for days on end now. I actually cannot remember when I used it last and I also am not using the preventer. Just goes to show how much smoking affected me. That's only the things I can see and not my insides that are hidden to me. I feel that my circulation is beginning to move in my body - that is probably not the correct way to say that but wow I can feel things moving inside me. I just simply feel more alive. I was really worked up about something today and I thought and said aloud how if I smoked I would have one right then and there but I truly never really wanted it and was just spouting of silly words that I knew as they left my mouth were stupid and pointless. I got through that few hours and just said to myself deal with it and I did. A smoke or a drink or any sort of drug wouldn't change a thing. Me smoking is not going to fix up my phone provider and get my phones working again. So 16 days it is and going strong.

The above picture is of our new dam which is full to the brim of water and looks amazing.

Now I need to acknowledge how my day was worthwhile - read above - that is worthwhile in itself and definately moving me towards my goal of a healthier and more content me. Then I paid bills which moved me towards my goal of being debt free and in control of my money. I also spoke at length to a friend tonight on the phone and spent time building relationships. I was giving and kind with words written in answer to other peoples blogs. Yes I feel that today was worthwhile in so many ways and that today has moved me closer to my goal of not wasting another year.



The other day on my blog I mentioned that I might share my vision of my dream self. I am not sure that I feel totally comfortable doing this but what the heck. It is just that I am discovering that by writing a blog that others can read is quite disclosing - it makes me feel like I am standing in front of everyone naked. But at the same time it is liberating to share things about myself and how I think and feel that otherwise would be hidden and kept to myself only. I like my company but I also like to share with others. So here is my written version of my Dream Self. Over the course of the year as I work at making the year Worthwhile I am keeping this vision of my Dream Self/Life clearly in front of me - a bit like a road map for me to follow for the year. Some guidance in my travels and decision making. I know that not everything will be crossed of this year but at the end of the year I want to see a big dent in the ones that are left and want to see some clearly crossed of as achieved or achieving. I feel this is a living document and over the coming year I may adjust it as required and add to it as necessary.




DREAM SELF
Full of energy – bursting with life - zing
Get up early – enjoy an early morning cupper as the sun comes up.
Smile all of time – laugh out loud often
Non Smoker
Non Drinker
Healthy Eater – lots of fruit and vegetables – vegan diet – plant based
Calm disposition
Exercises daily
Yoga expert for myself – do yoga every day
I dress in comfortable cloths – cottons and natural fabrics
Mick and I own our own house – we are debt free.

I help out in some charity or volunteer work somewhere - maybe with the elderly.

I have a lovely deck out the back
I have lovely old timber furniture and my home is decorated with things found in op shops and garage sales and flea markets.
I have lovely gardens to walk in and enjoy.
I have a happy, calm home – candles, earthy feel, warm, and friendly.
Our business is steady with plenty of work booked into our calendar.
We have an awesome reputation of a company that pays their accounts on time all of the time.
We have an awesome reputation for outstanding customer service.

Mick and I will finally travel around this wonderful country of Australia for a few years and live on the road.

Thanks for reading,

Peace to all of you deep in your hearts,

Wendy

Red Shoes and Owls

DAY FIFTEEN today of not smoking. I am doing so well and I am very proud of myself. I went out on the weekend and was in many situations where my habit was part of my life and I didn't have any trouble at all. I certainly don't want one. I am still vigilent though and always will have to be. I rewarded myself last week with a layby of some much needed and wanted new shoes. i can get this layby of this week and that is my ciggy money. I will post a picture of my pretty new red shoes which I fell in love with and believe me it is strange for me to want to go and buy shoes - especially red shoes. Practical is my middle name for shoes and even though these are very comfy and practical they still ooze fun. Later that day I watched a new Sandra Bulock movie called All About Steve and one of the first things you see about her character in the movie is her red boots. They are an important part of the movies message and I had to laugh as that day I had got myself some red shoes.

Take a look at this movie - I thought it was very well done and I liked the message - to me it was all about being true to yourself. Others shouln't expect you to conform to their views - if they don't like you the way you are then maybe they should just let you be - also about how we assume someone is wrong in some way if they do not fit into the typical mould of the society you live in - and that there is always others the same as you and there is always friends out there for everyone. Anyway I liked it and would recommend this movie as a nice feel good and thoughtful movie to watch.




Now you WOULD NOT BELIEVE what just happened to me just now while writing this post. And unfortunately hubby and I did not get a photo quick enough. Bugger. I heard something outside on my hanging potplants and then noise that sounded like it was on the carport roof. I am sitting facing the window which looks out under our carport. It is dark outside and even though I have the light on in my room I cannot see ouside very well as it is so dark. I shone the torch out the window and then nearly jumped out of my skin. A HUGE Tawny Frog Mouth Owl just flew at the window and held onto the screen and just stayed there looking at me and I just sat in my chair calling out to hubby and he came in and had a look and then said he was getting the camera and the owl took a few more seconds and then flew of. WOW.

This is amazing as me and Mick have had many encounters with owls over the few years we have been together. Mick regularly sees an owl out the back and it has come down and sat very close to him while he is sitting arounbd a campfire. We came across a young owl being attacked by other birds one time while on holidays and we helped the owner of the holiday park catch the owl so he could take it to the vet and then the vet gave it back to him to release into the wild from the exact spot we found him. We got to see him fly away before we went from our holiday. I wonder if owls are meant to represent anything. In any case I can't get the picture of this huge bird on my flyscren looking at me.

Now I can't remember anything I was going to write about tonight so that's it. I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow.

I wrote this last night at about 10pm. I am posting now as I did something wrong and it didn't post first go.


Peace to you all,

Wendy

Thursday, March 11, 2010

APPRECIATE THE RAIN


I don't have a lot to write tonight. Update of not smoking is DAY ELEVEN and going strong. Big pat on the back to me.


How I made my day WORTHWHILE - spent time visiting my daughter - spoke to my wonderful brother on the phone and then my awesome mother. Kept my chin up and also was kind to myself. Generally today was good.
This picture is one I found of my Mum standing beside a huge tree in the desert. Dad where was this taken again? Was it Camerons Corner?


And just a short comment on the rain we have been having which I was making the mistake of complaining about




Human vanity is best served by the reminder that,
Whatever our accomplishments,
Our sophistication,
Or our artistic pretensions,
Humankind owes it’s very
Existence to a six inch layer of top
Soil
and the fact that it rains.
(Author unknown)



Wednesday, March 10, 2010

CHOICES

Good Evening Everyone

I don't know why but everytime you go onto my blog it brings up one of the older posts and not the latest one written. Also it keeps putting in the incorrect date and time. So just so you know this post is written at around 7.44PM on Wednesday the 10th March.

I was just reading through one blog which led to another blog – some people have so much to offer – their words are perfect and just so right at the moment in your life when you read them – see below - Not my words but someone else’s and so TRUE !!!!

Now I have, as many do, moments where things just do not go my way. In the past I have felt that God and/or the universe has a sense of humor and I was the punch line. I also realize the more I feel “cosmic victim”, the more I can find circumstances to substantiate this feeling based upon my chosen perspective. The key word here is “chosen”. What we focus on is what we see!

So this has led me today to think constantly about what I am choosing in my life. How am I choosing my outcomes by my thoughts. I don’t want to just read these words and make no changes. I don't want to write these words and not make changes. I don't want the words to have no actions. This year is about making it WORTHWHILE, so that means not doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I have also just been reading a post and below is a bit taken from that blog.

What is your dream life? Does it represent the changes in you and your desire to live a simple life?
http://simple-green-frugal-co-op.blogspot.com/2010/03/of-what-do-you-dream.html


So the two things on my mind are the choices I am making about the things I am doing as well as the choices I am making about the things I am thinking and my attitude. Then that leads me to be thinking about what I would describe as my dream life.

I have just sat down and reread my goals and my vision of my life that I have written before. Nothing has changed actually – it is still the way I think – I have achieved a few things since writing these things. The main one I am working on at the moment is the not smoking – it is now 10 days today since I was smoking. TEN days - wow - doesn't time fly when you are having fun. Again I have to say how proud of myself I am. Not in a gloating way but in a very personal positive way. This is for me and all about me. I can feel that my circulation is definately on the improvement as I can feel things better. I am not sure how to explain this but my sensations and feeling seem to be increasing and the funny thing is that I didn't even realise that those things were lacking. Incredible. My memory is improving as well. On the down side I am still very emotional but it is hard to say how much is caused by the not smoking or by the actual situations I am going through at the moment. Just a lot going on with personal family life and work etc. Normal everyday things to a certain degree but still enough to make me feel a bit edgy. Still a cup of tea is so much better than a dirty old fag.

Anyway I might share my life vision on here in the next day or so. It is funny that - it feels like it is so personal and I am a bit embarrased to share it but it would be good to share what I dream for myself as I have noticed that when you write something here on the blog - even if no one reads it or only a few people - it still makes me accountable and that is what the title of my blog is all about.

Thanks for listening and please share any thoughts you have about what I have written.

Peace be spilling all over you

Wendy

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

HARD DAY TODAY

Hi everyone

Today has not been very good and certainly doesn't feel like it lives up to the Worthwhile catergory. Just to many pressures and I feel completely smothered in negative energy. Not going to bore you with the details and I am sure you have all been there before. So I just read some of my own advise. Firstly - JUST KEEP SWIMMING - even though I have cursed the water I am swimming in all day long. Secondly - BE KIND TO MYSELF - I have been talking to myself and saying nice soothing things to myself and then I yell a bit at me, the universe and any other energy that might take notice then back to nice soothing things.

Then I thought well I will read the blogs I follow and I read my brothers - Soap Box - and he made me think of love and how lucky I am to be surrounded by love. Then I read Lessons From The Monk I Married and again I got another WOW moment. Not todays post which by the way is very interesting about voting but the day before - Lesson 66 - JUST SHOW UP - below is a bit from this post. Have a read - again it is a wonderfully insightful post which was completely relevant to my day / week / year.



Thinking too much can paralyze a person. You may start to negotiate or think of excuses of why you can't do something. Anyone can rationalize their way out of not doing something. I say, "Don't think, just show up." Nine times out of ten, I feel much better for having done so. I attribute a great deal of the success I've had in life to "just showing up." Of course you have to do the work too, but chances are, if you've showed up, you'll do it.


So I am going to concentrate on just showing up each day to my life at the moment when things are seeming a bit hard to handle. I will keep swimming and just show up.

Tonight Mick and I have said we would join a local dancing club. They meet each Tuesday evening and we know nothing about what to do and how to dance. I have made excuses before but I will JUST SHOW UP TONIGHT and see what happens.

Today is day 9 of not smoking. I have had an emotional day today and thought about smokes more than other days. I don't want one and I haven't been tempting to run of to the shop and buy some - actually I didn't think of that at all. Just acknowledging that my old habit has risen it's ugly head because even though it never solved a thing and actually caused more problems in the end I did have a nasty habit of reaching for a fag when I was depressed, anxious, upset, worried or angry. I actually was a chain smoker and this chain has been broken.

So anyway I am very proud of my muddled and confused way I have got through today. Even though it was all messy around the edges I didn't cave in and smoke and I remembered finally very late in the day to be kind to myself and I am going to make the day WORTHWHILE after all by getting of my butt and going dancing tonight.

Thanks for listening and I hope I haven't drained anyone with all of that negative energy.

Peace to you all,

Wendy

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Be Kind On Yourself

DAY SEVEN of not smoking - had a taste last night of being around people smoking and I mean smoking like I used to a week ago. It stinks and I just want to say a HUGE SORRY to all the people I have offended over the past few years. It hasn't been that bad actually. I took a puff on this ladies cigerette and that was enough to show me how foul tasting it is. YUCK. I had to immediately go and brush my teeth. I am glad I had a taste. To me it proves that I really do not want to smoke and the cravings are going and the idea of smoking is appalling to me. I really still do not want to smoke and the feeling that I am missing out on something is gradually disappearing. I rewarded myself this last week with a few items of clothing with the money I would normally spend on smokes. This week I am going back to the gym and my reward there will be that I can breath through the excercise. The next reward for myself this week is to go to the movies. Not sure what I will see yet. Okay so tomorow will be the beginning of week two of not smoking.

I had such a WORTHWHILE day yesterday - gardening or weeding would be a better word with Mick for the morning in the drizzling rain. It was such a nice morning and we achieved just not cleaning up our front garden but spending some quality time together and I got some much needed excercise.

I also spent about an hour on the phone to my son. After this phone call I was thinking how my time to my son is worth so much more than all the gold and money in the world. Then the Universe steps in and I see my lesson of the day. I opened the blog that I follow called Lessons I learned From Marrying A Monk - or something like that. It is on the lefthand side here in my watched blogs list. Go to lesson 65 called GENEROUS and read this post. I got so much out of it. Below is an extract from this blog - have a read -

The moment you are generous and give to others for their own good without expecting anything in return, is the moment that the abundance of the universe is yours. You are no longer separate from it. Give love, give peace, give joy, give light...being generous is not only about money.


How well written - I know for sure that I often feel like I do not give very much of myself. This is not true. I gave my time to my son yesterday because he needed someone to talk to. I realised that he is lonely and just needs an ear to listen to him and that my time I give him as a mother and a friend is worth so much to him. My brother commented on this blog the other day that I make a difference often to others that I am not even aware of. I think that can be true of everyone. We are often made to think by society that money is the only way to give. This is so not true. Just read the above again. I love the words GIVE LOVE, GIVE PEACE, GIVE JOY, GIVE LIGHT - wow what awesome words to think upon.

And while you are in her blog have a look at todays post - Lesson 65 Don't listen to the Mustn'ts, the Shouldn'ts and Can'ts. Again a great piece of writing.

As for my Sunday bushwalk today - it didn't happen because of heavy rain still. I will mark of a walk as soon as I complete one.

Take care everyone and BE KIND ON YOURSELF. I truly believe that we are so much tougher on ourselves than on any others we might come into contact with.

I am sending you all PEACE

Cheers,

Wendy

Friday, March 5, 2010

JUST KEEP SWIMMING

Okay first thing first - how did I make yesterday WORTHWHILE ???? - firstly I didn't procrastinate and waste time worrying - I just paid the bills I could, which is a step closer to being on top of bills and then being debt free. I went out last night and caught up with friends for a few hours and it was good. I really had a good day yesterday which I feel was not wasted at all.

I made Mick a lovely card with - "Just Keep Swimming" written on the front and a lovely photo of us and some mushy words about how much I love him and how we can do anything together written inside. I was reading other blogs yesterday and came across this saying in one of them and it is something Mick and I used to say to each other as encouragement to keep on going and not give up and to share the belief that things will get better and to just keep going. If you have'nt worked it out it is from the movie Nimo. He loved the card and we now have it in full view in the loungeroom to keep rading over and over again.

Mick and I will JUST KEEP SWIMMING through the low times in business and we believe that we will come through the other end with a much stronger business and still be doing what we like to do.

Went to the hairdresser today and got my hair done and talked Kylies head off - lovely to have a conversation - what a shame we don't catch up outside of work as we have so much in common to chat about.


Well I did what I said I would do and have listed on the side my BUSH WALKING LIST. These are all day trips so there is no excuse that I don't have time. Mick and I said we would go tomorrow for a walk of this list but it is still pouring with rain. Probably have to wait for another day.

I got of my butt this morning though and Mick and I spent the morning in the drizzling rain and weeded the whole front garden and chopped back some rougue trees. It looks so nice. Perfect weather for that sort of work as it made it so easy as the ground was so wet. I am very excited as I have a BABY PINEAPPLE growing. It has just started to grow and I will post a photo on here later on and you can all watch my little pineapple grow into a big edible pineapple over the next few months. Dad shared his special homegrown pineapple with me last weekend and when this one is ready he will have to come visit and share this pineapple with me.

Andrew I have added your blog to my list on the side here. That's all you had to do was write. Well done and keep going. Take a look at my Bro's blog everyone - SOAP BOX.

And finally a quick update on my non smoking - Day SIX today. I am very proud of myself. I think of smoking once in a while and it is just the old mind tricks again. I just say back to myself - YOU DON"T SMOKE - and the thought disappears as quick as it arrives. I went out last night and had a few beers and chatted to friends and it didn't really bother me at all. If anything I found when Mick came back after having a smoke it is all I could smell for a few minutes and makes me realise how disgusting I have smelt to others. I just spent the morning in the garden and that is something I couldn't do a week ago. I would have got to puffed and had to use my asthma spray (which I haven't used for 2 days now). Tonight we have friends coming over to play darts and pinball. One doesn't smoke and one does. Her and Mick will have to stand outside the shed and smoke. This is a big test for me to just let it be. Let it go. I really don't want one.

Thanks for listening to me and I will be back again tomorrow,

PEACE to everyone,

Wendy

















The Bliss Of Yoga


Today is DAY FIVE of not smoking. I thought I may have eaten poor Mick alive a few nights ago. Night times are still the hardest but at least I am of my butt now and looking for things to do. I am going to start on some craft projects I have wanted to do for some time now and never have the energy or inclination to start them let alone finish them. Will keep you posted.

I saw your blog Andrew and that picture is great. Just write on it and that's it. PROBLEM though is as all of this is so new I don't know how to leave a comment and neither does Dad - whats the deal? HELP required.

I just read the blog "lessons I learnt from marrying a monk" - click on the right hand side. Her post today is so true. Not just for me but for everyone. I am so inspired all of the time from my Mum and Dad. They are always moving and not letting their bodies petrify with old age. They are more active and fit that I am and that was a large part of my inspiration to do something with my life and stop wasting time. Make it WORTHWHILE. Read my first Post on here and that explains the WORTHWHILE bit.
I will list EVERY DAY at least one way that I made today WORTHWHILE. How I didn't waste the day given to me. How I made the most of it. How I not only appreciated it but was actively involved in living my life and making it count. Count to me - not to anyone else. So that at the end of the day I can sit back and say I am moving forward or maintaining a balance but definately not moving backwards.

A few days ago I was speaking of searching for what is my BLISS. One thing has come to my mind that has always moved me to the core and that is YOGA. I love the feeling I get when I practice Yoga. The description in the blog I just read sums it all up perfectly. So this is the first thing I need to persue to find my BLISS. Yoga classes and Yoga at home.
The second thing that I thought of is walking in nature - bush walking. I really miss this part of my life. I used to go walking quite a lot and over the past years I have always put those days to the wayside and let all the other things I do come first. The funny thing is that walking in nature is something that brings me joy and a feeling of BLISS at the end of the day and it also is excercise and moving my body. I did arrange to do the Noosa cliff walk a few Sundays ago but it was raining cats and dogs that day. I am going to write a list of walks in the area that I want to do and post it on here in the next few days - then as I do each walk I can tick it of and write about that day. No set time limit and no set agenda just a simple list to help remind me of what I enjoy doing and that it is a very good idea to include this activity in my life as it brings me so much pleasure.
Anyway I had better stop there as I think I could talk all day.
Peace and Love to you all,
Wendy


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Becoming a non smoker and finding my BLISS

FOLLOW YOUR BLISS - I know what this means but seriously for the life of me I can't work out what totally rocks my boat. I very much like peace and calm but they are not things I can do. I was reading a blog called - Lessons from the monk I married - I will list it on the side with my fav blogs. Anyway she was talking about if we focus on our Bliss then things will run more smoothly and fall into place. It is when we folow our bliss that we are in flow. Now for some thinking about what brings me bliss. Am I that lost that I can't even think of things that bring me bliss and happiness. It's not that I can't think of things that I totally enjoy but to think of them in terms of continually being able to do them each day as part of my work is something I cannot fatham out how to accomplish. So this leaves me thinking of actual things that I can do that bring me bliss but then that is like trying to read a book upside down. I will rest on this and think on this and see what the universe shows me.

Anyway this is a great idea that she is doing on this blog - that is noting the lesson she has learnt each day. Today she has written TAKE REST. How many times I ignore this lesson when my body and mind is saying rest and I keep going.

I stopped smoking on Monday the 1st March. I do not want to smoke. I do not like the taste or the smell and I know to others that I meet they want to cross the road and avoid me but are to polite and say that's okay - we can put up with your stench. Anyway I got through day one and then day two yesterday. I nearly bit my hubbies head of but he has the patience of a saint and he can go out to his shed and have a fag. I don't envy him. I am so sick of the control that a habit like smoking has over you. Every time I did something I had to make sure I could have a smoke break. I couldn't breath properly but I still lit up a cigerette. It is a hard habit to break but I am determined to achieve my non smoking goal.

Today is day THREE and so far so good. I find the days are okay and I am keeping my hands busy. I am trying not to change my habits to much. That is - I went to shops today and I watched a DVD last night. Night time is the hardest for me and I am steeling myself for going out at night to the pub for Darts night and things like that. Not everyone smokes and they go outside but I need to be prepared for the mind games.

MIND GAMES would be so funny if not so serious. I wish I could record what my mind says to me. I am sitting there and it says "Okay let's go have a smoke". I stop whatever I am doing and then think to myself "But I don't smoke". It passes so quickly. Then there is the more insidious mind games that take hold when I am upset. Gotta stay as calm as you can when giving up smoking but life goes on and you are also dealing with the emotional waves that come over you while your body is detoxing. Silly thoughts like "Go on you can go to shop and buy smokes - you deserve it - no one will know - you can't do it".

I just stop whatever it is I am thinking and change the thought to " I DO NOT SMOKE - I am fine - I am feeling okay - I am proud of myself". I know you have to be so on guard as I started smoking at school when I was 13 and then after 14 years of smoking I stopped for 15 years. I was someone who couldn't be in the same room as a smoker and it was terrible. Then with a major upheaval in my life I ended up smoking again and cannot even begin to tell you why as I can't fathom the whole thing out myself. So I stopped worrying about why and concentrated on changing my ways again. I have been smoking for the past 5 years again with two sessions of three month giving up. So the count down never stops. I have learnt that. Vigilence every day is required.

Anyway I will be thinking about Bliss and counting the days of not smoking.

Peace to all,

Wendy